A Christmas List

Dear Asher and Nolan,

Things are shaping up around here for Christmas and I'm guessing you haven't had a chance to sneak away and do your shopping. Well we'll forgive you for no presents but don't think you're getting off the hook that easily. I have a list of non-present-type requests that I'm hoping you can both deliver on.

Asher:

1. Keep growing stronger and get yourself off that ventilator, preferably by the end of 2009. You're looking better and more like yourself and you're starting to breathe above your set rate. If your gasses are good tomorrow they may think about slowly starting to wean you off the vent. So be good when they do your heel poke and let's have some low CO2. I am encouraging healthy competition here by pointing out that your brother is kind of kicking your ass in the breathing department right now. That's not cool is it? So get on it.

2. Keep gaining weight. Not the huge gains you've had the past couple days so that they're worried you might just be retaining water, but a reasonable amount, say 30 grams per day. Weighing 4 lbs by the end of 2009 is definitely a possibility if you keep up the good work.

Nolan:

1. Continue to be a champ on CPAP. I heard a couple of rumours today. One, if your CO2 starts decreasing you may be a candidate for nasal prongs before you know it. Two, when you get on nasal prongs you might be able to leave level 3 and move to level 2. Can we aim for this early January please?

2. Gain 50 grams before Christmas to double your birth weight. Can you believe it?! Double your birth weight at a whopping 3 lbs 14 oz. If you want to take it one step better, gain 110 grams between now and then to make it to 4 lbs.

Both Of You:

1. No more middle of the night phonecalls. You've each given us one and scared the living bejeezus out of us so you're done.

2. Quit the desats and bradys. QUIT THEM.

3. No more infections, bleeds, or drama in general. You've aged me incredibly. Plus I'm really tired of seeing IVs. Nolan, your haircut is ridiculous care of the 2 IV sites in your head. And Asher, once your current site goes you're out of hands so if they can't find good veins in your feet you're about to get your own bad haircut.

4. Discharge by the end of February. I've pretty much given up the dream of having you out by your due date but there's still 24 more days in February past that, so I'll give you till then. If you also manage to come home at the same time that would be helpful. It will be sad and hard if one of you is left behind (Asher I'm talking to you. Do you want to be there when your brother is home hanging with Rio? I didn't think so).

I think I'll stop there. That's a pretty hefty list but I'm going to go out on a limb and say YOU OWE ME. I'm not getting ahead of myself and asking for anything unattainable or too far in the future so I have confidence you can follow through. And if you don't, I might have to make sure Santa loses the address of the NICU and can't deliver your presents.

Finally to quote Mariah Carey (ugh, I know I know, almost as bad as Celine) singing my favourite modern Christmas song (care of Love Actually, the best Christmas movie EVER):

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

I don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas Tree

I just want you for my own

More than you will ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

Lots of love, oh and Merry Christmas!

Mommy

xoxoxo