Waiting sucks

Today was a stressful day. We knew we'd have one again soon enough, but since the boys have been doing so well it seemed almost harder to take than when everything was going wrong every day. It's nice to get used to good news so bad-ish news really sucks more than ever these days.

First off, the more stable boy these days is Nolan. Ever since the move to CPAP the boy has been a champion. They changed his setting on CPAP to BiPAP the day after he was extubated, which means that although there is no tube down his throat they can still control the number of breaths he takes as opposed to CPAP where he has to control it all himself. So although BiPAP is not quite as big a step forward as CPAP, he is faring incredibly well. Silent and calm. Two very good things for these little guys.

Then there's Asher, who previously had been our stable guy for the past couple weeks. Maybe Nolan was getting too much attention, but suddenly over the past couple days Asher decided to significantly increase the number of desats and bradys he was having. They altered his feeds as he seemed to be getting more agitated, but that provided no relief. They decided today to also change him to BiPAP and unfortunately in his case, Jordan and I saw this as a fairly big step back. He had been doing so well on CPAP and suddenly he wasn't. What was more frightening is that they couldn't come up with any explanation for it so they decided to send him for a head ultrasound to rule out hydrocephalus from the bleed as a cause of his new issues.

The ultrasound was at 12:30 and we were promised results immediately. 6:30 pm and still no results and we were panicked. I spent the entire day working myself up to worst case scenario. After numerous phonecalls between us, the nurse, and the neonatologist at home, the doctor finally called radiology demanding they play the dictaphone report of the results into the phone for her because she still hadn't received the official report. So we have answers. Phew. Good answers. No signs of hydrocephalus at this point, meaning we're still thankfully avoiding the need for a shunt, and his brain looks unchanged. And apparently since changing his CPAP to BiPAP he has had a great day with no bradys and far less desats, so a whole lot of worry by everyone was for not. Thank goodness our house is full of chocolate, that's all that got me through this day!

In other Asher news however, we found out he has an inguinal hernia. Yes, that kind of hernia. I was warned by the nurse that I might be scared next time I change his diaper and that it is going to continue to get larger. Awww, poor little guy. But the good news is that he will have surgery before he's discharged and it sounds pretty low key, as far as surgeries go.

In positive news for both of them, they have passed their first eye exam with flying colours. Basically, their retinas show absolutely no sign of disease (stage 0) and are part way through normal development (zone 2). The doctor told us that when their retinas are fully developed (zone 3) and they are at stage 2 or less (let's hope to remain at stage 0!) we are looking at minimal if any retina issues. Again, phew. I think it's probably safe to say at this point that neither of them are going to be blind, so any eye issues that come of this, I can deal with. I KNEW they were looking at their mama fondly ;) Ok they're not. They can't see me. I know that, but it's nice to pretend.

I think that's about it. Both boys are 3 lbs 4 oz as of last night. Every day we see them, they look huge to me. I can't imagine what a full term baby looks like because suddenly these guys are the new normal to me and look healthy and chubby even! Here's some new pics, feel free to oooh and ahhh at how cute they are. Both love being on their tummies and thankfully, care of the monitors, there's no risk of tummy time.

Asher - his diaper almost looks like it fits him!

Nolan - umm ok, no, clearly the diaper is still a bit big :)