Ultrasound #2 - 12 weeks

What a great day today turned out to be! All the worry and stress and sickness to my stomach about what the ultrasound "could" have detected and none of it happened. We have two healthy, presumably happy, babies growing away!

It was a rough morning leading up to the ultrasound. Jordan was very positive, and imagine that - I was very negative. I couldn't get excited for it as I assumed there would be some inevitably bad news. I cried off an on all morning (again - imagine that!) in anticipation, but then we got there and everything turned around. Our tech, named Danielle, was lovely yet very professional at the same time. Immediately I felt at ease with her which was a completely different feeling than at our 18 week ultrasound last time. 

So first order of business - there's 2 there! Yay, I have not fallen into the 21-30% of cases where the 2nd baby "vanishes". Obviously great news. She then proceeds to take us through each baby at a time, explaining absolutely everything about what she's looking at. She of course could not see nearly as much as at the 18 week ultrasound but it was really shocking to me how much these little creatures looked like babies! At 8 weeks they're tadpoles and 4 weeks later they're fully formed, just tiny. I swear one was sucking his/her thumb. Quite advanced for its age I'd suspect.

In the future the babies will be referred to as Baby A (the one who will be born first) and Baby B (the one on top) but she didn't want to label them that yet because they could still change position before the next ultrasound. So she ended up naming them Upper Twin and Twin B lower, lovingly called Twin Blower by its dad. 

Upper was way more active and slightly larger at 5.6 cms. Blower was pretty sleepy but did end up performing when required, and measured 5.4 cms. Apparently this is all very normal that they have a minor size difference. Each of them had a heartbeat of 164 bpm, again normal.  Those measurements seemed to keep consistent with my original due date of Feb. 5th (making me 12 weeks tomorrow), but Colleen will confirm at our next appointment on Monday. 40 fingers and toes looked good, the brains, stomachs, and tiny hearts looked good, and most importantly to us, they were surrounded by ample fluid. It was too early to see kidneys but she could see bladders. That one caused some tears of relief. By our theory an easily recognized bladder means it's full and if it's full, kidneys are filling it. Please let this be the case. At this point we have no reason to think it's not.

Another great piece of news is that we happened to get one of the two ultrasound techs in Victoria who is certified to test nuchal thickness. In short, nuchal thickness can mean Downs Syndrome or other defects. In long, see here - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nuchal_scan.  Wow - did the Trousdells actually get some good luck by getting this tech? I think so! If you don't qualify you have to pay $300 - $500 for the test (I believe to qualify you have to be an older mom, which thank goodness I'm not yet, or you have to have a history of defects, which we don't fall into strangely enough). Yowsa, no thanks, not for that money. However, apparently when there is availability of a certified tech and you are expecting twins, you qualify! So what that means to us is that she did a very precise measurement of the skin at the back of Upper and Blowers' necks. A measurement of 3mm or less at this age is normal and both of them measured around 1mm. Great news. 

Last detail - we're probably looking at identicals as opposed to the original thought that they were fraternal. They were thankfully each in their own sac but she could only see one placenta. In theory I guess one could have been hiding, but if not we're looking at 2 boys or 2 girls that will be nearly impossible to tell apart, at least at the beginning. We'll find out more at the next ultrasound, and of course if they happen to be one of each sex then that theory goes out the window. For some reason I find identicals even more overwhelming than fraternals but it's going to be amazing either way. Seriously though, is it wrong that all I can think of is Daniel and Henrik and how "special" (read: WEIRD) they are?! I mean I guess it's pretty cool to be two halves of the same person and I'm sure they'll have ESP and special connections with each other. But at 30+ years old are they still going to be living together and shaving their red beards EXACTLY the same??? 

Anyway, enough being silly. All in all a fantastic outcome. Babies are healthy and mom and dad are relieved. Oh, and not to mention that big sister was brought into the know today and she is ecstatic. I have already needed to repeatedly tell her what she is going to help with and I think she is going to take this role very seriously. 

We are a happy family today. Welcome Upper and Blower, can't wait to meet you! Just make sure you cook for another 25 weeks :) 

Upper

Blower, hand at face

Snuggling side by side - froggy legs in the air

Ultrasound #1 - 8 weeks

Because of last pregnancy, I am being treated as a bit of a special case this time. Not because anyone particularly thinks I'm at risk, but mostly for my peace of mind. Initially my midwife had said that when I got pregnant again she would send me for a 12 week ultrasound (6-8 weeks earlier than the traditional prenatal ultrasound). But then the doctor that did my surgery took it one step further and said that if it would make me feel better I could come into her office for a really early ultrasound at 6 or 7 weeks and she would be able to assure me that things looked ok then. Since the 12 week ultrasound is quickly approaching I thought I should give some background on the first one, especially given its life changing (in a good way!) results!

We went to Dr. Trouton's office for the ultrasound, thinking I was approximately 7 or so weeks along. I can't say it was nice to see her again, but it was nice that we were there for a happy reason anyway. A little bit of small talk and we get right to business. There on the screen is one well sized, well implanted little embryo, measuring 17mm and 8 weeks 2 days. A bit farther along than I thought but that's never a bad thing! There wasn't really a lot to look at or talk about because Dr. Trouton is not a radiologist but from what she could see, things were great. Happiness! Relief! Wow, one happy milestone passed.

The exam is ending and I'm not paying attention to the screen and suddenly she says "UH OH". Ok not the words you EVER want to hear in an ultrasound but especially not after our previous experience. I glance over at the screen and she gives a nervous laugh and says "Do you see what I'm seeing?" to which I tentatively say ".....Twoooooo.....???". Umm ya. TWO. There's TWO in there and she almost missed it. So amidst hysterical laughter from Jordan and me she tries to get a better look. Embryo #2 is slightly smaller at 13mm so that makes me 8 weeks 1 day. She thinks they are in two separate sacs which makes things less complicated and probably means they're fraternal. 

So Trousdells are having twins! There is a possibility of "Vanishing Twin Syndrome" where you lose one and don't know it so technically we could face this news at the next ultrasound, but we're hoping the tides have changed and we're in for good news only from here on in.  We wished for another healthy baby and are now possibly going to have two?! The universe is re-aligning itself and it's time for the Trousdells to catch a good break. This is what we're telling ourselves anyway, because the possibility of anything else happening is not something we're willing to wrap our minds around. We're happy. We're hopeful. And we're nervous. Very, very nervous. 

So there we are. 3 weeks later and we are still absorbing the news. Stay tuned for the next ultrasound coming this Thursday - details to follow!

2 embryos at 8 weeks 3 days. Not much of anything to see yet.

And right now I'm...

Sitting in front of the computer at almost 2am eating a cookie. Insomnia + nausea, the one-two punch. Insomnia is a given as pretty much every night I wake up uncomfortable or have to pee then can't get back to sleep because my head is out of control with work or babies. But toss in the nausea and now I especially can't get back to sleep because I feel like barfing. Or do I feel like eating? It's really hard to tell what exactly the overwhelming feeling of a big empty pit of a stomach is caused by. I'm never sure so I stuff my face hoping to take the nausea away. Just now it was finishing the box of vegetable thins and that did nothing so I had to contemplate something else. Do I go for my 5th piece of bread today (actually make that 7th if you factor in 2 mini bagels too) or do I eat one frozen cookie. Umm, obviously the cookie....it HAS to be less bad than 7 pieces of bread in one day doesn't it?? Hrmph. I'm really not liking this and I'm certainly not trying to eat for 3 but good lord do I get starving and in a hurry. In the meantime, back to bed to toss and turn and think about what I do when I wake up starving and cranky in a pitch black tent at Miracle Beach this weekend - wish me luck.

Some background

Here's a little background on how this all went down. Ok yes, you get how it all went down, I mean timelines and such.

After everything that happened, all educated medical professionals told us to wait three months to try again. So we did because that's how we roll - I don't break the rules, this is serious business. So when it's time to try I convince myself that somehow I have been rendered infertile. I don't know how I've done this math, but I've done it. 

So I seek Maria, the loveliest woman I know, also known as my acupuncturist. She took the best possible care of me when I was pregnant with Rio and she also did everything she could to help me recover, both mentally and physically, in the early days of this year. And curing my allergies? Don't even get me started on my freedom from Claritin and Flonase care of her capable hands. She is my saviour. Acupuncture is my drug of choice. I could go on about Maria and chinese medicine for days. But alas, I digress. I go to acupuncture and Maria helps to get me on track so to speak. To be honest, as if I needed it. Clearly I don't have issues getting pregnant. I knew it wouldn't be a problem but couldn't help but be pessimistic. 

First month, no dice. Month two, we're in luck. Strangely enough month #2 is "our month" all three times. I decided to do a pregnancy test when I was JUST 4 weeks pregnant. I had my first dentist appointment in 5 years - yes, you read that right and it deserves its own post to discuss - and I was nervous about an x-ray. Sure enough, there it is - a faint positive! So faint that Jordan didn't believe it. Some nurse - doesn't he know that "some" line is a line??? Anyway, I proceed to do two more tests over the next two days and they get increasingly darker. Woohoo, it's official. 

Thrilled is the first word that comes to mind but it's certainly not the only thing I felt over the first few weeks. We were so incredibly happy that things were looking up for our family. But I couldn't believe all the sadness it brought up in me. I didn't think a new baby would fix things, but maybe I hoped? Anyway, to avoid talking about all the sad stuff, let's just say it was a roller coaster ride that covered every emotion. 

So there we were. Digesting this news and so hopeful for the future. No idea just how bright our future was about to get - stay tuned for details of the ultrasound.

Here we go

Well here we are, my first blog. Not officially FIRST blog as I made a fairly lame attempt to blog my preparation for the Weekend to End Cancer and then didn't show anyone. But my first blog on the matter of my growing family. I have been talking to Jordan about starting a blog (hello high school/university dream to start a magazine!) so I thought this would be some good practice.

So I realize a lot of other people have been pregnant before, and yes, shockingly, some have even had twins (gasp! how?!). But those other people aren't ME. How am I going to be the mom of twins? How is my body going to get through this feat without making me feel and look hideous?  How is my brain going to get through this worry, anxiety and excitement? How are my marriage and my three year old going to make it through this transition? How are we EVER going to afford this? All questions I ask myself daily, hourly, by the minute. These babes are encompassing my every thought. 

I am not self absorbed enough to think that each and every one of you will actually care to read all about me for the next 6 plus months (fingers crossed!), but if you have any inkling, here's your chance.  No one is going to know about this blog for a few weeks yet so if you happen to do some random google search that gets you here, good one - secret's out! When we do decide to share this (in 2.5 weeks after the 12 week ultrasound) it will be a good way for those of you who care for updates, pictures etc., to check things out without me having to spam you with some "Check out big mama and her ever growing belly" emails. 

So here goes. Read at your own will...