Corrected Age

I have found over the past weeks as the boys have been getting older and stronger, I have been asked repeatedly "What are they doing?". The first few times I was like "Ummmm, being babies??" not really understanding that people were wondering how they are developing. When I then answer that they are lying there, staring and batting at their mobile on a good day, I can pretty much read the thoughts: "Is that normal that that's all they're doing?".

In terms of specific developmental milestones, for the next 2-3 years the boys will get measured based on their corrected age as opposed to their chronological age. Chronologically, the boys are nearly 5 months old. At 5 months Rio was rolling over both ways, shoving hands and feet (and everything else) into her mouth, and even sitting up. These boys are nowhere near any of these things, nor should they be, because their corrected age is only 6 weeks. Their corrected age is calculated from their due date, so how old they would be if they were born at term. Just because they were born more than 3 months early, they are not expected to reach any of their milestones any earlier than they would have if they were on time. So based on their corrected age, they are behaving like 6 weekers. They are making eye contact, they are cooing, they are reaching out, and they have great neck strength. 

Although we would like to think they are going to reach all of their milestones when they are at the appropriate corrected age, it is very likely that they might be even slower than that. So for instance, even when they are 6 months corrected  (9 months chronological), they may not be sitting. And that's ok. They are going to do things as they need to do them and it is up to the team of specialists that will be following them to tell us if there is a problem. I am already preparing for their muscle strength to be a bit lacking since they are still in the hospital and spending a lot more time in bed than they would if they were at home with us like other 6 weekers. 

So while we appreciate that everyone wants the very best for the boys and their health and development, please don't answer with an "Oh..." or a "Really?" or an "Is that ok?" when you find out they don't do things on the schedule that the rest of the world thinks is normal. In-their-own-damn-time is the new normal in this house. Normal is so passé...