...when you know where they hide the spare toilet paper in the bathroom nearest the NICU.
...when you can instruct the nurses on which parts go with which breast pumps.
...when a baby born three months ago is going home and you think to yourself "ALREADY??? How's she busting out of here so quickly?"
...when you have spent $1.60 on a large coffee at Tim Hortons more times than you care to count.
...when you keep rolling up the rim of said T-Hos coffee, expecting to win a car for your troubles, never ceasing to be angry when you're told to play again.
...when you have entered the hospital via the morgue entrance so many times that you have seen at least a dozen hearses and even a few bodies (covered!).
...when you know exactly how many stairs it is to the third floor (54) and yet you still count them every single time.
It's time to go home. Really, really time.