After some soul searching, A LOT of pro and con discussions, and chats with a lactation consultant, public health nurse, GP and midwife, the pump has won out. No breast feeding for this family - pumping and bottling will continue for the foreseeable future until a) I run out of milk or b) I throw the pump out the window. Anyone who has heard me complain endlessly about the pump for the past 5 1/2 months is probably shocked, as am I really, but turns out that the whole pumping and bottling thing is waaaay more efficient and quick for feeding the boys than the boob. I still haven't quite figured out what's going to happen if we're somewhere unprepared and they're hungry, but hopefully my mad planning skills will prevent that from happening. I have even stored a spare pump in the car because I always remember getting stuck on the Malahat for hours with a starving baby Rio and thinking "My God, what would I do if I wasn't breastfeeding". The pump might not be the easiest choice in a lot of respects, but I'll work out the kinks I'm sure.
Anyway, this was a bit of a stressful decision to make because pumping is obviously not the most natural way to go about things. Also, I shouldn't care about what other people think but I was, and still am, concerned with people looking at me and wondering why I am bottling and not breast feeding. Even yesterday when we were at the hospital getting the boys their RSV shots, I mentioned they were hungry and the nurse said "Oh just head down the hall and go feed them", clearly assuming I was nursing. I just smiled and said ok thanks, and couldn't fess up. But I need to work on getting over all that all because this is what works for this family and that's all I really care about.
The best part of all of this is that whether the milk is going through the pump or the old fashioned way I'm still technically breastfeeding....so I will continue to eat the THOUSAND extra calories I am supposed to eat per day to feed twins. Boo-ya! Off to finish my chocolate bar while my bum fades away to nothingness. I will enjoy this binge eating while it lasts!
Don't feel guilt or regret... you have to do what works for you and the boys... Anyone who does a double take at mom who has twins and bottle in hand should have their head examined... no matter what is in the bottle...
ReplyDeleteI couldn't agree more with Summer.
ReplyDeleteYou go mama! Breast is best - no matter how they get it!! You are doing such a great job keeping your family healthy and happy in a great way that works for you AND the boys. Just think how lucky we all are to have the option to pump! They didn't exist when I was a babe and my mum had to switch me to formula pretty early on. A pump would have totally helped her.
ReplyDeleteIf others can't cope with your choice they can, well, suck it!
the pump won out with me too. it was way more efficient. i was totally happy they were still getting breast milk.... and tracey, can i mention how amazing you are doing!!! just awesome.
ReplyDeleteOh, Tracey...try not to be so hard on yourself. You are an amazing mommy and it sounds like you made an excellent decision: YOUR decision for YOUR family! They are still getting your yummy, lovey milk! And if you are stuck somewhere I am pretty sure you could make it work :)
ReplyDeleteThe boys are sooo handsome!
Melanie xoxo