After some soul searching, A LOT of pro and con discussions, and chats with a lactation consultant, public health nurse, GP and midwife, the pump has won out. No breast feeding for this family - pumping and bottling will continue for the foreseeable future until a) I run out of milk or b) I throw the pump out the window. Anyone who has heard me complain endlessly about the pump for the past 5 1/2 months is probably shocked, as am I really, but turns out that the whole pumping and bottling thing is waaaay more efficient and quick for feeding the boys than the boob. I still haven't quite figured out what's going to happen if we're somewhere unprepared and they're hungry, but hopefully my mad planning skills will prevent that from happening. I have even stored a spare pump in the car because I always remember getting stuck on the Malahat for hours with a starving baby Rio and thinking "My God, what would I do if I wasn't breastfeeding". The pump might not be the easiest choice in a lot of respects, but I'll work out the kinks I'm sure.
Anyway, this was a bit of a stressful decision to make because pumping is obviously not the most natural way to go about things. Also, I shouldn't care about what other people think but I was, and still am, concerned with people looking at me and wondering why I am bottling and not breast feeding. Even yesterday when we were at the hospital getting the boys their RSV shots, I mentioned they were hungry and the nurse said "Oh just head down the hall and go feed them", clearly assuming I was nursing. I just smiled and said ok thanks, and couldn't fess up. But I need to work on getting over all that all because this is what works for this family and that's all I really care about.
The best part of all of this is that whether the milk is going through the pump or the old fashioned way I'm still technically breastfeeding....so I will continue to eat the THOUSAND extra calories I am supposed to eat per day to feed twins. Boo-ya! Off to finish my chocolate bar while my bum fades away to nothingness. I will enjoy this binge eating while it lasts!