On this imperfect life journey with the twins, I have learned a lot. One of the most important things being to NOT JUDGE other parents on the choices they make for their kids. Sure, if you're a junkie with a neglected kid, I'm going to judge. But if you're a good, loving parent who is making their decisions solely in the best interests of their child(ren) then how is it my place to think that my way is right and your way is wrong?
The other day I was having a conversation with a friend and we were talking about how she thinks that people are judging her for child rearing decisions she has made. Not only does the judging bother her, but more so that no one knows why she's made these decisions and how in hindsight she wishes she may have done things differently from the beginning.
And then there is another preemie mom friend of mine. One of her children is still in the hospital and she recently had a great life changing event that will be best for herself and her partner and kids in the long run, yet she is being judged for it by some. It made me absolutely sick that someone had the audacity to judge her for it (on facebook of all places where any half-wit member of the peanut gallery can chime in). I personally think she is making the best choice ever, but who cares what I think, or what anyone thinks for that matter.
Jordan and I are lucky that we have very supportive friends and family who understand the journey these boys have been on and why we are so uptight with them now. We aren't going to leave the kids with anyone for the foreseeable future. We are going to get you to keep washing your hands when you're around them right through next winter. We're probably never going to let you bottle feed them. We're not going to take them out to events with large groups of people. And we're certainly not letting you anywhere near them if you have so much as a sniffle. All because we are confident that's what's best for the boys and we don't really care what anyone else thinks. If we are silently getting judged for being over protective, then shame on you I guess. Because they look so healthy now, everyone around us may eventually forget that these boys spent the first 5 months of their lives in hospital, but we won't.
None of us has walked in each others' shoes or lived a minute in each others' families. So for us parents, let's be each others' biggest supporters and not worst enemies, ok? If any of you can say you've never judged another parent then you're either fibbing, or a WAY better person than me :)