Where for art thou, kidneys?

Today I had an interesting doctor's appointment. First off, the good news. My repeat bloodwork for hyperthyroidism showed that my thyroid levels were still elevated, but had not increased, and all the other markers she checked for were normal. This means it will probably resolve itself, so in the meantime I have follow up bloodwork in 1 and 4 months from now and keep an eye out for symptoms. Easy peasy.

Then she pulled out a letter she had received regarding "the events of December 2008". These were her exact words. I almost chuckled to myself because I realized that not even my doctor can put our loss into words and I felt a little like she was talking about Harry Potter's Voldemort - "He who shall not be named". Anyway, apparently some quality committee had reviewed my file, a year and a half later, and feels it pertinent that Jordan and I both get abdominal ultrasounds to assure that we are each packing 2 kidneys.

Needle off the record, I sat there stunned.

We are looking into this NOW? I appreciate that they think this follow up is necessary because it would be nice to know if Jordan or I was short a vital organ. When everything happened it was briefly discussed that this may be a possibility, but they told us that if the baby was found to be chromosomally normal (which she was) the assumption would be that Jordan and I were both fine.

So we moved on and accepted the fact that this happened for no reason and was nothing more than a big horrible fluke. Yet now, 18 months later, we are forced to open this all up again? This same healthcare system I praised a few months ago could not have had the foresight to do this testing immediately when we were already in a state of grief, sadness and anger? Surely we are not the only family that has lost a baby that may have been caused by a parental abnormality. So every time this happens does the family get a surprise call years later that it should be investigated further? While I am 99.9% sure Jordan and I have a combined 4 healthy kidneys, we will no doubt expend energy worrying about the slight possibility that we don't. Because really, what if we don't? Obviously we've each made it 30+ years without knowing if that's the case, but still, I don't want to have to contemplate any of this right now.

Yet again, more salt in the wounds. Revisiting sad and bitter feelings I have worked hard to move past is not really high on my list of priorities at the moment. If my dad wasn't reading this, I would be dropping an F-bomb right about now.