Often, I hurt because I am so sad for what the boys have been through, what we have been through as a family, and damnit, what I have been through personally. Other days it hurts when I think of not knowing what the future holds and how the boys, mostly Asher, will fare through all of this at the end of the day.
But today is a different kind of hurt, the best kind of hurt. Right now at this very moment, my heart hurts, aches in fact, with the love I have for my kids. As I listen to Asher and Nolan babble away on the floor next to me, and the silence of Rio playing down the hall quietly in her room, I realize that I am incredibly lucky. No matter what we have gone through or what we are going to continue to go through, my heart is so full of love it feels like it is going to break. Feeling love like this in the middle of the melee that is my day to day existence, makes me stop and take a moment to enjoy the life I have been blessed with.