How is it possible that being left alone with twins seems like a vacation?! The house is quiet. And CLEAN. The boys are napping and I have nothing to do! Despite the fact that I will miss Rio and Jordan I look very forward to the next two days!
I am however, quite nervous about the skiing. If they drive 3 hours up island, rent all the gear, register for the class, and she won't ski - I'm going to lose it. I am particularly scared because of our experience at dance class today. She refused to dance. She stood with me and would not join the class, not even when I promised I would go dance with her (what a scene that would have been). I was SO frustrated because this is the third time she has asked to take dance class and the third time it has been a bust. The first two times we struggled each week, fighting with her every class, but still trying. This time I said enough is enough. I knew if I pulled her out today we could likely get a refund (we did - thank goodness!). I don't have the time or the patience to drag her and the boys to a class each week that she is not going to take part in.
The worst part about the whole experience is that all the other parents and the teacher surely thought I was THE CRUELEST WORST MOTHER EVER, dragging my "poor kid" out of class on the first day, not giving her a chance to come around to it in the following weeks. Little do they know that this is about the 20th time I have gone through this with her and I knew how the lessons would end up - she would get more and more stubborn and I would get more and more frustrated. So we called it quits.
I am not sure how to deal with this. Her shyness gets in the way of not only her activities but also her day to day interactions with people. It is terribly embarrassing to me when other children or their parents talk to her and she makes a face and ignores them. It was one thing when she was two or three, but now that she is four (but looks like she is 5 or 6) it comes across as incredibly rude. It is not her shyness that I am upset with her for - it is the fact that she thinks being shy is an excuse to be rude and to get out of things she doesn't want to do (for example - screaming like she is being murdered in the face of the dentist!). And what has me incredibly perplexed is that she asked to take this class and has been so excited for it and then it's as if I've forced her to be there when the time comes!
Gahh. She has me rattled today! Who thinks babies are hard? Puh-leeeease. Babies are the easy ones! Speaking of that, back to my mom and baby vacation I go!
Hey Tracey!
ReplyDeleteI read your blog post today (as I do always!). My oldest daughter challenged me beyond belief and continues to do so almost daily (sigh). But the one thing I have learned is that they do move through so many different phases over the years. Do you really think Rio uses her shyness as a way to be rude? She's only four and her thought processes probably aren't that sophisticated, despite the fact that she's smart. Now that my kids are 10, 8 and 6, I've realized that I expected them to grow up way too fast and understand way too much. She's still a baby! Oh, and about the dance lessons, I think you do the absolute right thing. Hope you don't mind my two cents worth...
All the best, always,
Amy
She will have a BLAST in my part of the woods, ok I have yet to go to the mountian yet but she is near us! She will have fun any idea if they are going to go tubing while there? I LOVE when it is just the twins and me soooooo quiet!
ReplyDeleteHi Amy - good point, but I think mine was not worded so well. I know she doesn't think that being shy allows her to be rude, but she has definitely learned that acting shy gets her out of doing things, and those things often come across as rude. There have been maaaaany situations where she is "shy", gets what she wants and then is magically not shy anymore. She may not be smart enough to have figured out the whole thought process behind it, but we all know that somehow the little ones are master manipulators! Infuriating!
ReplyDeleteI arrived, and left with Pika, from more sleepovers, lessons, birthday parties, etc. than I can count. She just wasn't ready to leave the safety of my legs and arms yet. It took a while. I understand your frustration. Try to just let it go, because believe me, nothing you can do or say will change it. No amount of bribery or threats -- each kid is on their own schedule.
ReplyDeleteAnd really, who gives a sh^t what the dentist thinks? I'd doubt she is the worst client he's ever had!!! Think of all the creepy, smelly mouths he sees! ewwww. She's not the worst. She's just four.
ReplyDeleteIt's hard to not worry about what other people think of our kids. Amelia is already very...enthusiastic...and it's hard for some people to cope with. One of my friends labelled her as "spirited" when she wasn't even a year.
You know what I think about that? She needed to put a label on Amelia so my kid made sense to her. She can think what she likes and it's not a reflection on Amelia or my parenting, it's a reflection on her.
If people think Rio is rude (when she's being shy or making a face like ALL little kids do) that's a reflection on them and not you guys. Rio is incredibly well-behaved and lovely even when she won't talk to me ;-) Why? because she's four. When she makes faces at me when she's 30 you can worry.
And...what would happen if she doesn't ski, she comes home and you gave her a BIIIIIG hug and said, "That's ok" and left it there, asking her about the parts she did like? She and Jord are having a great time, the skiing, while expensive might not be the point of the trip.
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