So That's What It Feels Like

Tonight I felt something that I have not felt regularly for a good long time.

FULL.

I realized tonight that in the past couple weeks since quitting pumping, I have actually felt full at the end of a meal. When I tell you that I have not felt full since the boys were born, I am not kidding. Honestly. I have forgotten what it felt like. Not only did I forget what it felt like to be full, I forgot what it felt like to NOT be hungry. 24/7 HUNGRY. No jokes.

You see, for 14 months, it was physically impossible for me to eat the number of calories per day that were required for the amount of milk I was making. Sure, once or twice (or 40 times) I may have gone overboard on the brownies, but most days there was no way I could eat enough. I would eat far more than my 6'2", 200+ lb husband, and then I would only stop because a) I had just eaten more than my 6'2", 200+ lb husband and that was embarrassing, or b) we had run out of dinner. Usually, it was a combination of the two.

But alas, I am now back to normal. I have always had a "healthy appetite" but now it is back to just that! Is it crazy that I am somehow enjoying that uncomfortable feeling that comes from your jeans feeling a bit tight after dinner? I go hours at a time without thinking about food, just like a normal person! Those of you who know how much I loooooove me some food are probably shocked that I am happy to have lost my voracious appetite - but that just goes to show how out of control my appetite was.

Another piece of freedom from giving up the pump. Who knew?!