I've had several people over the past couple of days say varying incantations of "I didn't know it was a big deal" - in regards to my surgery.
This post is to tell you - it's actually that big of a deal.
Sure, not for the surgeon, I'm sure he could have done it in his sleep (my particular surgeon has done this 1000+ times). But for me, it was. If you haven't noticed, my incision is surprisingly big. He was in there for 2 hours - cutting God knows what, but obviously something detailed. I have been in a lot of pain, and overall feeling much worse than I could have imagined. I'm not allowed to lift my kids. That alone has been heartbreaking, aside from the physical pain it would cause.
Sure this wasn't open heart surgery, but it wasn't a tonsillectomy either.
And compared to the life or death drama we faced for all those months with the boys, this does rate low.
But for not just me, our entire family, this has been hard. Jordan has been amazing. Our helpers have gone above and beyond (and of course all the offers of help we haven't taken have been much appreciated!). The kids are being nearly perfect angels. But this is starting to wear on all of us. People are getting tired and cranky and we all want our life back. Normal isn't a word I like to use anymore - but right now, I want things back to our normal. Thankfully I am spending more and more time out of bed so we're getting there.
And let's not forget the whole reason this surgery happened - because the lump might have been CANCER*. So ya, there's that.
Is this post completely self centered and asking you to feel sorry for me? Absolutely. But this whole ordeal has really SUCKED. So there you have it. A big deal.
*People keep asking when we will find out and I realize I haven't addressed that. I see the surgeon next week and if he doesn't have results I will find out the timeline then. Thank you for your concern :)
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Edit: This post may appear to be pointing the finger at those who said they didn't realize it was a big deal when that's not really what I meant to portray. No one has meant it to be malicious or even insensitive - more ill informed about the procedure itself. Hence this post - INFORMATION! The truth of the matter is, if I've got a problem with anyone, it's the people that haven't said anything AT ALL....
Tracey,
ReplyDeleteI am sorry that you had to post this. You have had a rough go in the last few years. I just hope that some positive things start coming your way very very soon. Again, let me know if there is ANYTHING we can do to help you out.
Ann
Hey girl. I think people for the most part don't really want to know that things are "a big deal". It reminds me of when the boys were in teh NICU...people just didn't seem to get that it was "a big deal".
ReplyDeleteThanks for posting this. And I'm sorry it sucks so much. Hopefully this is the bottom and you're on your way back up to the top of this rollercoaster we live on!
I'm surprised that anyone would think that having part of your metabolism removed from you neck is not "a big deal". Hang in there Tracey. I've been reading each of your posts and thinking you sound pretty brave through it all. Lots of love
ReplyDeleteMel
Of course it's a big deal! I'm sorry that people have been so insensitive. :-( (do you want me to smack 'em? Cuz I can...and will!)
ReplyDeleteI guess people say things like that because they just don't have a clue unless they've experienced something themselves. When a lap procedure had me in bed for a week recovering I had lots of questions as to why removing scar tissue (all over my reproductive organs no less) was a big deal. They didn't get it. They were oddly more sympathetic when I had a kidney stone, I think because more have experienced it. Sigh.
Anyway, the smack offer still stands... Many hugs, my friend. Hope you keep feeling better every day!
Tracey...I am SHOCKED that people would think it was no big deal...Hello? - its surgery!
ReplyDeleteHi friend. I guess my cous was pretty accurate with the recovery then eh? So sorry that its been such a hard time. I am around next week and available in the evening time (Mon, Tues, Weds) and even though I am a newly wed, I would be there in a shot if you need me. DO NOT HESITATE TO ASK.
ReplyDeleteTracey; of course it's a huge deal! Painful surgery, recovery plus taking care of your family and wondering about the results on the tissue that was removed..... I can't imagine!
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