Tomorrow we're off to Mexico. I am simultaneously excited and terrified.
Pre-kids, we fancied ourselves travelers. But since Rio, we have only done 2 trips of any consequence - 1) a 3 week driving trip through the southwest USA (impressive with a 4 month old!) and 2) a week long trip to Mexico (pretty easy, but at least we took a toddler on a plane somewhere).
Now, almost 4 years since that trip to Mexico, we're attempting Mexico again - this time with 200% more kids and no cushy all inclusive (it should be noted that it is cushy - just not all inclusive. We certainly won't be "roughing it"). But instead of one baby shared between 2 laps, we have 2 babies on 2 laps, plus a 5 year old. Will we be able to keep the entertained/happy/not screaming? The flight is scary. I'm guessing I won't sleep much tonight in nervous anticipation.
But then we'll get there and it will all be good - right?! RIGHT! Relaxation, adventure and fun here we come!
I'll probably give an update or two while we're away, but if not, I have some scheduled to auto-post. So keep tuned, there will be updates here regardless.
Have a great two weeks - probably not as great as ours though :)
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
Monkey Therapy
In addition to PT and OT, we are researching some new therapies for Asher. Feldenkrais and Craniosacral Therapy top our list. But Asher, the little genius that he is, has been researching another type of therapy all on his own. I call it Monkey Therapy.
Essentially, when Asher is sitting on your lap, he demands to hang upside down - like this:
He is happy to lie like that, laughing and talking, until he begins to feel uncomfortable. Trust me, if you pull him up before he's ready, he'll protest. When he's ready he'll pull up, take a few deep breaths, and then throw himself backwards again.
If he's feeling particularly feisty, he'll throw himself backwards even harder to indicate he'd like to take the day's therapy to a more intense level - like this:
I assume Asher knows something we don't know and that lying upside down until all of the blood in your body rushes to your head is therapeutic. He did have a massive brain injury, so maybe all of the blood rushing to his brain is somehow helping it to form new connections?*
*Please tell me that you don't believe I think this is actual "therapy" and that hanging upside down is really doing something productive? That said, if it makes him happy and continues to induce laughter, that's therapeutic!
Essentially, when Asher is sitting on your lap, he demands to hang upside down - like this:
He is happy to lie like that, laughing and talking, until he begins to feel uncomfortable. Trust me, if you pull him up before he's ready, he'll protest. When he's ready he'll pull up, take a few deep breaths, and then throw himself backwards again.
If he's feeling particularly feisty, he'll throw himself backwards even harder to indicate he'd like to take the day's therapy to a more intense level - like this:
I assume Asher knows something we don't know and that lying upside down until all of the blood in your body rushes to your head is therapeutic. He did have a massive brain injury, so maybe all of the blood rushing to his brain is somehow helping it to form new connections?*
*Please tell me that you don't believe I think this is actual "therapy" and that hanging upside down is really doing something productive? That said, if it makes him happy and continues to induce laughter, that's therapeutic!
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Graham's Foundation
Graham's Foundation is a charity I have wanted to write about for a long time. Almost 2 years in fact, considering the boys are almost 2 years old. I've mentioned them in passing here and there, but my motivation to finally dedicate a post to them is to show off some of the models they have gracing their website. Check out Asher and Nolan here.
Soooo cute right?! And look how far they've come!
Anyway, enough bragging about my angels. Back to the task at hand.
As soon as the boys were born, I desperately googled everything I could about prematurity, looking for resources and help. Sadly, Canada doesn't seem to have a lot of support in place, at least not compared to the U.S. who has the March of Dimes. I was desperate to find something, anything, to connect to at such a scary time.
And with Graham's Foundation, I did. Nick and Jennifer Hall started Graham's Foundation in memory of their son Graham, who like our boys, was born far too early along with his twin sister Reece. Sadly, Graham lost his battle at only 45 days old. The Halls wanted to do something to honour Graham, so started a charity in his name to provide support to other parents of micro-preemies, sending care packages to them in the NICU. Although they're based in the U.S., I contacted them, thinking it was a slim chance they'd include me in little old Victoria BC. But I heard back from them almost immediately telling me my package would be on the way shortly. I was impressed.
Like many other days, one in mid-December was particularly hard. Nolan had just come out of some drama with a lung hemorrhage and Asher was right in the middle of some drama of his own with suspected seizures. I left the hospital in tears (what else is new) and a few hours later received a phone call at home from their nurse - never a good thing. This time, however, I could tell she was happy. She was calling to tell me my care package had arrived. Everyone who worked closely with us was excited to see the contents.
I raced back to the hospital and tore into it. It contained several thoughtful items like coffee, tea, snacks, hand sanitizer, a disposable camera (the best thing ever to leave at the bedside for the nurses to use), a note pad, and two of the tiniest shirts I had ever seen. It absolutely made my day. It had arrived on a terrible day, just when I needed a pick me up. Even better - it arrived on day 45 of the boys' stay. Knowing Graham had lived 45 days, I felt even more sure that this was the day it was meant to come.
In the past 2 years I have watched their foundation grow. I don't know them personally, but I feel so proud of them and what they are doing. I truly believe that when you go through something like the families of preemies go through, it is for a reason. In the case of the Halls, they really are making the world a better place - one care package at a time.
Soooo cute right?! And look how far they've come!
Anyway, enough bragging about my angels. Back to the task at hand.
As soon as the boys were born, I desperately googled everything I could about prematurity, looking for resources and help. Sadly, Canada doesn't seem to have a lot of support in place, at least not compared to the U.S. who has the March of Dimes. I was desperate to find something, anything, to connect to at such a scary time.
And with Graham's Foundation, I did. Nick and Jennifer Hall started Graham's Foundation in memory of their son Graham, who like our boys, was born far too early along with his twin sister Reece. Sadly, Graham lost his battle at only 45 days old. The Halls wanted to do something to honour Graham, so started a charity in his name to provide support to other parents of micro-preemies, sending care packages to them in the NICU. Although they're based in the U.S., I contacted them, thinking it was a slim chance they'd include me in little old Victoria BC. But I heard back from them almost immediately telling me my package would be on the way shortly. I was impressed.
Like many other days, one in mid-December was particularly hard. Nolan had just come out of some drama with a lung hemorrhage and Asher was right in the middle of some drama of his own with suspected seizures. I left the hospital in tears (what else is new) and a few hours later received a phone call at home from their nurse - never a good thing. This time, however, I could tell she was happy. She was calling to tell me my care package had arrived. Everyone who worked closely with us was excited to see the contents.
I raced back to the hospital and tore into it. It contained several thoughtful items like coffee, tea, snacks, hand sanitizer, a disposable camera (the best thing ever to leave at the bedside for the nurses to use), a note pad, and two of the tiniest shirts I had ever seen. It absolutely made my day. It had arrived on a terrible day, just when I needed a pick me up. Even better - it arrived on day 45 of the boys' stay. Knowing Graham had lived 45 days, I felt even more sure that this was the day it was meant to come.
In the past 2 years I have watched their foundation grow. I don't know them personally, but I feel so proud of them and what they are doing. I truly believe that when you go through something like the families of preemies go through, it is for a reason. In the case of the Halls, they really are making the world a better place - one care package at a time.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Nolan - 18 month follow up
Yesterday, Nolan had his 18 month (corrected) neonatal follow up (Asher had his last week).
I was really excited to see Nolan get tested after watching Asher. Asher really impressed me with how he was able to demonstrate his learning skills, even though he was physically prevented from carrying out a lot of the tasks. I was looking forward to seeing Nolan attempt the same things so I could see how well he'd fare in comparison.
As expected, Nolan did not disappoint. His cognitive skills were evident and it was really fun to see him in action, putting pieces in puzzles, stacking, and general problem solving. Not only did it assure me that Nolan is cognitively doing great, it especially showed me that Asher is doing just as well - there was only one problem solving skill that Nolan "beat" Asher at, and a few times, Nolan was actually a bit slower than Asher at figuring things out (How hard is it to figure out which washcloth a ducky is hiding under? Child's play for Asher; apparently a bit of a challenge for Nolan!!) .
Physically, other than walking, Nolan is fantastic. Both the physio and the doctor noticed that his right leg is a little bit tighter than his left, so that "could" explain why he's not walking. They are by no means overly concerned, and think that the likelihood is that it's a pattern he's developed to learn to crawl even faster. The consensus is that at this point he has no real reason to walk when he can crawl so quickly, besides the fact that his best friend is stuck on the floor, so why would he want to move away from him?! It was however, good to have other eyes to pick up on this tightness, so they will alert Asher's PT to just keep an eye on Nolan. Additionally, they suggested that it would be of huge benefit to both boys if they could be at the same level as often as possible, so we will work on finding Asher a stander that is lower to the ground and more eye to eye with Nolan when he too is standing.
Overall, they were very pleased with Nolan. He is "right on" for his corrected age, completing tasks exactly as expected. Of course his walking puts him behind in the grand scheme of things, but we're ok with that. He was 14 weeks early, he is a twin, and he is male after all! Three strikes against him in the development department!
There was such dread for both of these appointments and they turned out so positively in the end. All my stressing for nothing - as usual.
I was really excited to see Nolan get tested after watching Asher. Asher really impressed me with how he was able to demonstrate his learning skills, even though he was physically prevented from carrying out a lot of the tasks. I was looking forward to seeing Nolan attempt the same things so I could see how well he'd fare in comparison.
As expected, Nolan did not disappoint. His cognitive skills were evident and it was really fun to see him in action, putting pieces in puzzles, stacking, and general problem solving. Not only did it assure me that Nolan is cognitively doing great, it especially showed me that Asher is doing just as well - there was only one problem solving skill that Nolan "beat" Asher at, and a few times, Nolan was actually a bit slower than Asher at figuring things out (How hard is it to figure out which washcloth a ducky is hiding under? Child's play for Asher; apparently a bit of a challenge for Nolan!!) .
Physically, other than walking, Nolan is fantastic. Both the physio and the doctor noticed that his right leg is a little bit tighter than his left, so that "could" explain why he's not walking. They are by no means overly concerned, and think that the likelihood is that it's a pattern he's developed to learn to crawl even faster. The consensus is that at this point he has no real reason to walk when he can crawl so quickly, besides the fact that his best friend is stuck on the floor, so why would he want to move away from him?! It was however, good to have other eyes to pick up on this tightness, so they will alert Asher's PT to just keep an eye on Nolan. Additionally, they suggested that it would be of huge benefit to both boys if they could be at the same level as often as possible, so we will work on finding Asher a stander that is lower to the ground and more eye to eye with Nolan when he too is standing.
Overall, they were very pleased with Nolan. He is "right on" for his corrected age, completing tasks exactly as expected. Of course his walking puts him behind in the grand scheme of things, but we're ok with that. He was 14 weeks early, he is a twin, and he is male after all! Three strikes against him in the development department!
There was such dread for both of these appointments and they turned out so positively in the end. All my stressing for nothing - as usual.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
Living the New Normal - Happily
A while ago a friend told me that she loves the sub-title of the blog: "The five of us defining the new normal". It's not about life after prematurity or life with a special needs child, it's about life - period. A life that just happens to be a bit different than the one we had envisioned for our family.
Another friend asked me how I felt about all the "stuff" around our house - both the gear, and the usual baby things that we have adapted for Asher. Without skipping a beat I told her that truthfully I usually don't even see it - it's just a part of our home now - a part of our new normal.
On most days, we feel like we are just "living the new normal". Other days we do not, at least not by our old standards. We realize that in some ways, our life is isolating, sad, and difficult. We get angry and bitter. We long for the life we'd counted on - the one that's easier than the one we've been given.
Sometimes, on really bad days I think to myself "I didn't ask for this". Specifically:
I reeeeally feel sorry for myself when I make that mental list. So instead, I try to make another list - one that focuses on all the things I am NOT missing out on:
Not a bad list, eh?! For as many difficult things as I can list, I can name just as many, or more, good ones.
Another friend asked me how I felt about all the "stuff" around our house - both the gear, and the usual baby things that we have adapted for Asher. Without skipping a beat I told her that truthfully I usually don't even see it - it's just a part of our home now - a part of our new normal.
On most days, we feel like we are just "living the new normal". Other days we do not, at least not by our old standards. We realize that in some ways, our life is isolating, sad, and difficult. We get angry and bitter. We long for the life we'd counted on - the one that's easier than the one we've been given.
Sometimes, on really bad days I think to myself "I didn't ask for this". Specifically:
- I didn't ask to lose my mom when I was a teenager.
- I didn't ask to lose a baby 5 months into pregnancy.
- I didn't ask to have barely viable premature twins.
- I didn't ask for one of those twins to have CP as a result of his traumatic birth.
- I didn't ask to have thyroid cancer.
I reeeeally feel sorry for myself when I make that mental list. So instead, I try to make another list - one that focuses on all the things I am NOT missing out on:
- I have food, clothing, shelter and security, along with many other luxuries.
- I am married to my own prince charming.
- I have three exceptionally strong, adorable kids.
- I am supported endlessly by friends and family.
- I am educated and involved and can advocate for my family's needs.
- I live in one of the most beautiful places on earth.
- I have the capabilities to do and see wonderful things, with the people I love.
Not a bad list, eh?! For as many difficult things as I can list, I can name just as many, or more, good ones.
Yes, indeed, LIFE IS HARD, but why is that so difficult to accept? Why do we count on better things around the corner, when in fact our pretty-darn-good-life is sitting right in front of us staring us in the face? What is that perfect, normal life we all think we need? Why don't we just LIVE the one we've got?
Trust me, I'm trying - it's a work in progress. Most days, I think the new normal is pretty good if given half a chance.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
New Beginnings for the Ladies
Today was a new start for me and Rio...
Me - first day on thyroid meds. Here's to a healthy, regulated, cancer-free thyroid.
Her - no tears, sadness, or trepidation going to kindergarten. Not even a second hug as I was leaving. "I'm leaving now Rio", I say. "Ok!" she replies happily. Wow, who swapped out the scared kid for the confident one?
And to top it all off it is sunny and warm today. Hoping that keeps up for tomorrow when I am alone with the boys and NOTHING!! TO!! DO!! for the first day in forever. Power walk, we have a date in the morning. Don't disappoint me.
Me - first day on thyroid meds. Here's to a healthy, regulated, cancer-free thyroid.
Her - no tears, sadness, or trepidation going to kindergarten. Not even a second hug as I was leaving. "I'm leaving now Rio", I say. "Ok!" she replies happily. Wow, who swapped out the scared kid for the confident one?
And to top it all off it is sunny and warm today. Hoping that keeps up for tomorrow when I am alone with the boys and NOTHING!! TO!! DO!! for the first day in forever. Power walk, we have a date in the morning. Don't disappoint me.
Sunday, September 18, 2011
My Day
Today is my birthday. In fact it has turned into my birth-weekend, which actually started out not so great. On Friday night Asher didn't sleep. Like AT ALL. Cried and writhed and cried some more. It was exhausting.
Then we "woke up" (ha, shouldn't really call it that when you haven't slept!) and Jordan took Rio to the first class of her swimming lessons. Guess what? She refused to go. Swimming has been the only activity we can count on her participating in without being shy. But when the teacher is a BOY well then we don't stand a chance. Withdrawn, AGAIN. This day SUCKS.
So then Jordan, Rio and Nolan head out of the house to do some errands. Nolan and Rio wouldn't nap so I kept Asher in a futile attempt to get him (and more importantly ME) napping. I felt very sorry for myself. I wondered where the day's secret activities Jordan had promised were. I figured we couldn't possibly leave our kids with my 13 year old niece as Jordan had alerted me was happening in the evening. I cried from exhaustion and thought this was going to be the worst birthday ever. Considering I've gone through some not so nice, "real life" stuff in the past few years, you'd think I wouldn't be so melodramatic about my birthday. But indeed I was!
And then Jordan, Rio and Nolan arrived home with flowers. Things were looking up. And then I heard noise on the deck and looked out to see our very dear friends from Vancouver hiding in the corner. WHAT?! Jord and kids had snuck out to the ferry in their absence to pick them up - a surprise that had been in the works for weeks. Suddenly I didn't care that I was exhausted or that I was leaving our sweet babysitter with potentially three little sleepless monsters. Suddenly this was the best birthday EVER!
So we chatted and caught up and laughed and ate and drank the afternoon away and then it was time to get dolled up for dinner. We left the kids playing with their cousin and went for a deeeeeelicious night out. We returned to three sleeping kids who caused no trouble and everyone happy. Very happy, me especially. Asher then decided to sleep through the night* which was pretty much the best present possible after our last few weeks of his sleeplessness.
Today, my real birthday, is low key. Let's just say that's a good thing as I wouldn't really be up for anything else after last night. We had a nice breakfast with our friends before Jord and Rio took them back home to spend the rest of their short weekend with their own kids. I decided that while they were gone I should take the boys for a walk. Sixty pounds of baby in a giant stroller in the beating sun in a hilly neighborhood is not a cure for a hangover. Unfortunately I learned this the hard way and the coolness of my living room floor was a much better fit for me and the boys when we got home.
We've all napped and now we're having a quiet rest of the day. Pruning, dinner and cake baking for a family dinner at my sister's tomorrow, following a "girls day" for me and Rio - lunch and shopping downtown.
What a fantastic birthday. I feel very loved and special this weekend and can't ask for much more than that. Well except for maybe being 26, not 36...
(*We think it's the 2 year molars. He's only 19 months corrected but all signs are pointed this way. Why of all things does he need to be advanced at THIS?)
Then we "woke up" (ha, shouldn't really call it that when you haven't slept!) and Jordan took Rio to the first class of her swimming lessons. Guess what? She refused to go. Swimming has been the only activity we can count on her participating in without being shy. But when the teacher is a BOY well then we don't stand a chance. Withdrawn, AGAIN. This day SUCKS.
So then Jordan, Rio and Nolan head out of the house to do some errands. Nolan and Rio wouldn't nap so I kept Asher in a futile attempt to get him (and more importantly ME) napping. I felt very sorry for myself. I wondered where the day's secret activities Jordan had promised were. I figured we couldn't possibly leave our kids with my 13 year old niece as Jordan had alerted me was happening in the evening. I cried from exhaustion and thought this was going to be the worst birthday ever. Considering I've gone through some not so nice, "real life" stuff in the past few years, you'd think I wouldn't be so melodramatic about my birthday. But indeed I was!
And then Jordan, Rio and Nolan arrived home with flowers. Things were looking up. And then I heard noise on the deck and looked out to see our very dear friends from Vancouver hiding in the corner. WHAT?! Jord and kids had snuck out to the ferry in their absence to pick them up - a surprise that had been in the works for weeks. Suddenly I didn't care that I was exhausted or that I was leaving our sweet babysitter with potentially three little sleepless monsters. Suddenly this was the best birthday EVER!
So we chatted and caught up and laughed and ate and drank the afternoon away and then it was time to get dolled up for dinner. We left the kids playing with their cousin and went for a deeeeeelicious night out. We returned to three sleeping kids who caused no trouble and everyone happy. Very happy, me especially. Asher then decided to sleep through the night* which was pretty much the best present possible after our last few weeks of his sleeplessness.
Today, my real birthday, is low key. Let's just say that's a good thing as I wouldn't really be up for anything else after last night. We had a nice breakfast with our friends before Jord and Rio took them back home to spend the rest of their short weekend with their own kids. I decided that while they were gone I should take the boys for a walk. Sixty pounds of baby in a giant stroller in the beating sun in a hilly neighborhood is not a cure for a hangover. Unfortunately I learned this the hard way and the coolness of my living room floor was a much better fit for me and the boys when we got home.
We've all napped and now we're having a quiet rest of the day. Pruning, dinner and cake baking for a family dinner at my sister's tomorrow, following a "girls day" for me and Rio - lunch and shopping downtown.
What a fantastic birthday. I feel very loved and special this weekend and can't ask for much more than that. Well except for maybe being 26, not 36...
(*We think it's the 2 year molars. He's only 19 months corrected but all signs are pointed this way. Why of all things does he need to be advanced at THIS?)
Friday, September 16, 2011
Adjustment
First full week of kindergarten - exhausting.
Aside from the sobbing* on Monday and Tuesday mornings, Rio has done great. She is so excited at the end of the day and already seems to be learning so much. She is adapting pretty well to not napping, although there are far more meltdowns than ever before - to be expected. She has watched more TV after school this week than she has watched in her entire life. I know she'll need some time to get used to this tiring new routine so I'm dealing with it for now.
The boys are doing pretty well with it too. They nap earlier now (down by 12) as they need to be up by 2:30 to get Rio. They too are little bears around dinner time but adjusting like their sister.
7pm cannot come fast enough. The boys start to melt down around 6:45 and Rio is chomping at the bit to be in bed the minute the boys are done. I have to say that the lack of nap sure makes her bedtime a breeze.
We have a new found freedom come 7:30pm when ALL THREE KIDS** are asleep! That said, I don't know what to do with it other than go to bed early because I too am exhausted.
Rio's district has their first professional day on Monday, so a nice long weekend to relax. I know in the coming weeks we'll all get used to this routine and will have more energy...just as we're ready to leave for Mexico and screw it all up again!
*Mostly Rio, only a little bit me.
**Wishful thinking - Asher cannot be trusted to sleep these days. Some nights up until 11pm, others he sleeps right away and then is up for the day at 3:30 am. Usually it's every third night, giving himself two nights in between to catch up.
Aside from the sobbing* on Monday and Tuesday mornings, Rio has done great. She is so excited at the end of the day and already seems to be learning so much. She is adapting pretty well to not napping, although there are far more meltdowns than ever before - to be expected. She has watched more TV after school this week than she has watched in her entire life. I know she'll need some time to get used to this tiring new routine so I'm dealing with it for now.
The boys are doing pretty well with it too. They nap earlier now (down by 12) as they need to be up by 2:30 to get Rio. They too are little bears around dinner time but adjusting like their sister.
7pm cannot come fast enough. The boys start to melt down around 6:45 and Rio is chomping at the bit to be in bed the minute the boys are done. I have to say that the lack of nap sure makes her bedtime a breeze.
We have a new found freedom come 7:30pm when ALL THREE KIDS** are asleep! That said, I don't know what to do with it other than go to bed early because I too am exhausted.
Rio's district has their first professional day on Monday, so a nice long weekend to relax. I know in the coming weeks we'll all get used to this routine and will have more energy...just as we're ready to leave for Mexico and screw it all up again!
*Mostly Rio, only a little bit me.
**Wishful thinking - Asher cannot be trusted to sleep these days. Some nights up until 11pm, others he sleeps right away and then is up for the day at 3:30 am. Usually it's every third night, giving himself two nights in between to catch up.
Thursday, September 15, 2011
National Neonatal Nurse Day
Today is National Neonatal Nurse Day. I'm not sure what that means exactly, or how you're supposed to "celebrate" and I'm guessing that most of you nurses don't even know that it's today!
But I know. So THANK-YOU. Many of Asher and Nolan's nurses read this, so please remember how much you still, and always will, mean to us.
You saved their lives. You let me cry without judgement. You re-assured us. You made me laugh when nothing else in the world seemed funny. You listened to our concerns. You spoke on our behalf. You helped me feel like their mom in the worst possible setting. You are skilled, compassionate, and life changing. You made the difference.
Those of you who have never been cared for by neonatal nurses are lucky, of course. But those of us that have been are lucky too.
But I know. So THANK-YOU. Many of Asher and Nolan's nurses read this, so please remember how much you still, and always will, mean to us.
You saved their lives. You let me cry without judgement. You re-assured us. You made me laugh when nothing else in the world seemed funny. You listened to our concerns. You spoke on our behalf. You helped me feel like their mom in the worst possible setting. You are skilled, compassionate, and life changing. You made the difference.
Those of you who have never been cared for by neonatal nurses are lucky, of course. But those of us that have been are lucky too.
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
The Land We Live In
I am sharing a post written by a mom who also has preemie twins - one with CP. I tried to write an introduction for this to explain in my own words why I "get it", but all it did was make me cry and ramble on much less eloquently than the original post.
The one thing I will say is that the first few times I read this, it hurt. Badly. Then the more I read it I understood why - it hurt because it was all true and I didn't want to admit it. I try to be so positive and upbeat that I didn't want to admit to myself that I live in the Land of Not OK. But I do. I just work hard to take extended, meaningful trips to the Land of OK.
So here goes - Dispatches From The Land of Not OK.
Thanks Shasta, for sharing your words.
Sidenote - I still cheer and mournsporting events the Canucks as if they matter ;)
The one thing I will say is that the first few times I read this, it hurt. Badly. Then the more I read it I understood why - it hurt because it was all true and I didn't want to admit it. I try to be so positive and upbeat that I didn't want to admit to myself that I live in the Land of Not OK. But I do. I just work hard to take extended, meaningful trips to the Land of OK.
So here goes - Dispatches From The Land of Not OK.
Thanks Shasta, for sharing your words.
Sidenote - I still cheer and mourn
Bum
Asher and Nolan don't have a ton of words. Up until about a week ago their words have solely consisted of the people in our house:
- Mama
- Dada
- Ri Ri
- Meow
Those are kind of to be expected, right? So when a new word like shows up like "uh oh", "go", "up", "hi", "bye" and "nigh nigh", as have in the past few days, we get really excited and give them a big reaction so they keep saying it. Now I am constantly on the look out for "real" words to pop up so they can get positive reinforcement and start building their vocabulary.
Yesterday I smelled something stinky. Nolan was closest so I checked him - nothing. I walked in the living room to see Rio and Asher playing on the floor, so I turned to Rio and said "Ewwww something stinks!" I turned to Asher and said "Do you smell something?" and his answer was "Bum". I kid you not. Straight faced. So I asked again "What stinks?". "Bum" was the answer.
Needless to say Rio and I were hysterical. Now truth be told, Asher has been saying "bum" for a little while when I change his diaper. Off comes the diaper and without fail he says it. But to use it in the context of "what stinks?" was way too amusing.
Ahh bum, who knew a 3 letter word could bring such laughs?!
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
Asher - 18 month follow up
Today, Asher went for his 18 month (corrected) neonatal follow up appointment at the hospital. Previously, the boys were tested at 4 and 8 months corrected, and will be again at 3 and 5 years. As I said yesterday, I was dreading this. But, like most things in life, when you spend a lot of time worrying about them, in the end they never usually turn out so badly.
The testing was adapted for Asher's physical limitations. So instead of getting tested on things he couldn't possibly do, tests were modified so that he was not prevented from showing what he is mentally, socially and emotionally capable of.
The testing was adapted for Asher's physical limitations. So instead of getting tested on things he couldn't possibly do, tests were modified so that he was not prevented from showing what he is mentally, socially and emotionally capable of.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Laughter is the Best Medicine
What a weekend.
On Friday morning I flew off to beautiful HOT Kelowna for a close friend's wedding. In addition to attending the wedding, it was a mini get together of high school friends and their spouses - a lot of the girls I had the getaway weekend with earlier in the summer. I was looking forward to going, but sorely wishing my family could attend with me.
On Friday morning I flew off to beautiful HOT Kelowna for a close friend's wedding. In addition to attending the wedding, it was a mini get together of high school friends and their spouses - a lot of the girls I had the getaway weekend with earlier in the summer. I was looking forward to going, but sorely wishing my family could attend with me.
Thursday, September 8, 2011
Big Girl, Big Weekend
Yesterday Rio went to school for the first "real" day. Parents stayed for the first 15 minutes and then they were on their own - allll day! She did fantastic and was so excited to tell me about snack time and play time and yoga! They do yoga after lunch every day! I think her teacher sounds just wonderful.
Tomorrow I head off for a weekend out of town myself. A friend from high school is getting married and we had no one to leave the kids with so decided that rather than pack up the whole family, I would go alone. I am not looking forward to going to a wedding without my date, but I know the weekend away will be fun, and a nice break. The weather in Kelowna is supposed to be 30 degrees. Youch! It hasn't been that hot here all summer! I'm sure Jordan and the kids will have a great fun filled weekend and it will fly by for all of us.
Unrelated, here's a gorgeous photo of Rio that my aunt took at my niece's wedding this summer. Love it.
Tomorrow I head off for a weekend out of town myself. A friend from high school is getting married and we had no one to leave the kids with so decided that rather than pack up the whole family, I would go alone. I am not looking forward to going to a wedding without my date, but I know the weekend away will be fun, and a nice break. The weather in Kelowna is supposed to be 30 degrees. Youch! It hasn't been that hot here all summer! I'm sure Jordan and the kids will have a great fun filled weekend and it will fly by for all of us.
Unrelated, here's a gorgeous photo of Rio that my aunt took at my niece's wedding this summer. Love it.
Tuesday, September 6, 2011
First Day of Kindergarten
With some tears and a special pancake breakfast, my baby girl walked out the door this morning and into the real world of kindergarten.
Her classroom is adorable. Her teacher is lovely and plays the piano and the guitar for them in class. Her best friend from preschool is in her class of 18 kids. She did well, but she was happy to have me by her side today for assurance.
She is very nervous for tomorrow when she starts full days all on her own, no mommy there to hold her hand and ease her worries. A walk to her classroom and a kiss and she'll be gone. I'm not sure which one of us that will be harder on.
I will be fine, and she will be better than fine. If this is anything like preschool, she will flourish.
Her classroom is adorable. Her teacher is lovely and plays the piano and the guitar for them in class. Her best friend from preschool is in her class of 18 kids. She did well, but she was happy to have me by her side today for assurance.
She is very nervous for tomorrow when she starts full days all on her own, no mommy there to hold her hand and ease her worries. A walk to her classroom and a kiss and she'll be gone. I'm not sure which one of us that will be harder on.
I will be fine, and she will be better than fine. If this is anything like preschool, she will flourish.
Breakfast of champions!
Gorgeous!
Posing
Kev seeing her off
Checking out the school yard with her BF from preschool
Pose down at the entrance
Monday, September 5, 2011
The Last Night
Tonight is the last night before my baby goes off to kindergarten, also marking the last night of summer as we know it.
We finished off the night by watching videos of Rio as a baby. Prior to that we celebrated by having a nice dinner with veggies from our garden and apple pie from our trees, and earlier in the day Rio and I filled the freezer with healthy snacks. We talked about how nervous we both are and how sad mommy is that her little girl is growing up. Both of us cried, a bit leery of the unknown.
Tomorrow begins a whole new world for all of us. Rio starts with only an hour tomorrow but full days beginning Wednesday. That means a new routine of earlier bed, getting out the door in a hurry, and no nap. Wow, is that going to be a transition. She is a bear when she doesn't nap, so going to school until 2:45 each day is going to be a huge shock to all of our systems. I can imagine the evening hours are not going to be so fun as she adjusts.
I have anxiety about many things. First and foremost that my baby is old enough to venture off into the world by herself. Will she be too shy to answer the teacher's questions? Will she make friends easily? Will she be scared to go off to the bathroom by herself? Will she be able to button her jacket? Will she like the lunch I packed her? And the list goes on.
And then I wonder how things are going to go with the boys in her absence. For their entire lives (outside of the hospital), aside from therapy and appointments things have revolved around her - where she's going and what she's doing and activities to keep her busy. Now suddenly I have two 22 month old babies full time, without their sister to entertain them. What do 22 month old babies do all day on their own? Will they get enough stimulation? How will they adjust to an earlier wake-up, shorter nap, and an overall more boring day without Rio? I'm excited to have the day to devote to just them, but at the same time wondering how we'll fill our time in a way that is interesting for all of us.
We finished off the night by watching videos of Rio as a baby. Prior to that we celebrated by having a nice dinner with veggies from our garden and apple pie from our trees, and earlier in the day Rio and I filled the freezer with healthy snacks. We talked about how nervous we both are and how sad mommy is that her little girl is growing up. Both of us cried, a bit leery of the unknown.
Tomorrow begins a whole new world for all of us. Rio starts with only an hour tomorrow but full days beginning Wednesday. That means a new routine of earlier bed, getting out the door in a hurry, and no nap. Wow, is that going to be a transition. She is a bear when she doesn't nap, so going to school until 2:45 each day is going to be a huge shock to all of our systems. I can imagine the evening hours are not going to be so fun as she adjusts.
I have anxiety about many things. First and foremost that my baby is old enough to venture off into the world by herself. Will she be too shy to answer the teacher's questions? Will she make friends easily? Will she be scared to go off to the bathroom by herself? Will she be able to button her jacket? Will she like the lunch I packed her? And the list goes on.
And then I wonder how things are going to go with the boys in her absence. For their entire lives (outside of the hospital), aside from therapy and appointments things have revolved around her - where she's going and what she's doing and activities to keep her busy. Now suddenly I have two 22 month old babies full time, without their sister to entertain them. What do 22 month old babies do all day on their own? Will they get enough stimulation? How will they adjust to an earlier wake-up, shorter nap, and an overall more boring day without Rio? I'm excited to have the day to devote to just them, but at the same time wondering how we'll fill our time in a way that is interesting for all of us.
Tomorrow brings many changes, all of which will be positive I'm sure. But I'm still nervous. And a little bit sad.
How is this little sprite old enough for school?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
Writing! Exciting!
A couple of months ago I entered a writing contest put on by The Momoir Project and ParentsCanada magazine. I struggled to write my piece, but did so, entered it, and then promptly assumed I would not be a winner.
Well I am not THE winner, but am very proud to be one of the 3 runners up! There were over 50 essays entered and a panel of 5 judges. My piece will be published on the ParentsCanada and Momoir Project websites in the fall, plus I received a visa gift card! Woo hoo! First paid writing - I will buy myself something nice to commemorate!
You can read the announcement on the Momoir Project here - haven't seen it on ParentsCanada yet...but you know I'll keep looking!
Well I am not THE winner, but am very proud to be one of the 3 runners up! There were over 50 essays entered and a panel of 5 judges. My piece will be published on the ParentsCanada and Momoir Project websites in the fall, plus I received a visa gift card! Woo hoo! First paid writing - I will buy myself something nice to commemorate!
You can read the announcement on the Momoir Project here - haven't seen it on ParentsCanada yet...but you know I'll keep looking!
Friday, September 2, 2011
New This Week
It's been a busy week, trying to cram in appointments and friend visits before the start of school. But we have had a bit of progress in some fun things around here this week:
Have a nice long weekend - we'll be doing yard work, interspersed with me having panic attacks that my baby is going to kindergarten on Tuesday!
- Asher is sitting in a bumbo chair. While PT was originally against the bumbo months ago, now they realize that whatever gets him sitting with the kids is a good thing. He LOVES it and it has eased so much of his frustration!
- Asher now answers the question "Who is your sister?" with "Ri" or Ri Ri"
- Nolan now answers the question "What does your kitty say?" with "Meow"
- Both boys greet me with "Hi" when I walk in their room in the morning
- Both boys are learning animal sounds - particularly quack, moo and roarrrrr (Nolan's favourite)
Have a nice long weekend - we'll be doing yard work, interspersed with me having panic attacks that my baby is going to kindergarten on Tuesday!
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