Today Asher saw his neurologist. After the snow storm last week cancelled our appointment, we were lucky enough that she had some cancellations today so they could get us in right away. I thought this was a bit of a "nothing" appointment today because she is not his primary doctor and he hasn't yet had his MRI, but still it's nice to check in with all of his specialists every once in a while.
Predominantly we talked about the MRI and whether or not we should do it. She put no pressure on us, reminding us that NOTHING is going to change as a result - his brain is damaged whether we have a picture of it or not.
But of course I cried, worrying that the results are going to show us that the damage is much worse than we anticipate, or that it is going to show damage to a cognitive area when we have been thus far convinced he is cognitively fine. She reminded me that the MRI is not mandatory and if I'm not ready then there is no reason to pursue; I assured her I will never be ready so we should proceed now and she sent off the requisition. I am guessing it will happen in the summer.
We then talked about the future and Asher's abilities and disabilities, along with Nolan's inability to walk, and needless to say those conversations don't leave me feeling very positive or happy. So for this being a "nothing" kind of appointment, it really kind of sucked.
A bit too early for a glass of wine, so I guess I'll have to settle on a tray of brownies. Thank goodness for chocolate.