Why do I write? Good question.
To be honest, I never knew I could write until I started this blog. I took creative writing in high school, and while I did well (because I loved and still do love anything to do with language and literature), I never believed in myself. I never thought I could write because there was no way I could describe things like the rain falling softly on the window and blah blah blah dee blah for three paragraphs every two pages. Seriously. That is what I thought was stopping me from writing - the ability to be descriptive.
But then I was thrown into writing. This blog arose as a casual way to keep family and friends updated on the twin pregnancy. When the boys were born early all hell broke loose, and writing about them became a part time job. Not necessarily because I was enjoying it, but because there was just so much content.
Over the months I had been writing the blog I got a lot of compliments (thank you, thank you) and had started to look forward to what I was going to write about. When things settled down with the boys a bit Jordan suggested I take a writing class, having read about The Momoir Project. I reluctantly signed up, but it turned out to be a decision I will never regret. During the course of two sessions of classes I had lots of good writing I felt confident about, learned a ton of great tips from my teacher and my classmates, and I realized that describing something like softly falling rain wasn't so difficult after all. I felt ready to give writing a real try.
So I started to write things and submit them to publications. Sometimes I was successful. More often I was not. I know this is the way with most creative endeavours - you fail more often than you succeed - but I am not good at failure. Like at all. Not just in writing but in anything. So I just sort of quit. I know, I know, sounds kind of pathetic when I say it like that. But I think it was sort of like my life was so challenging outside of my own control, why subject myself to any other reason to feel bad about myself.
So for months, I hadn't written a word beyond this blog. Things had been busy, yes, but I certainly hadn't made time for writing. In fact, I'd barely made time for the blog, and considered packing it in many times.
But a couple of months ago I decided to make a small step. I thought I'd use Ellen's weekly writing prompts as a reason to write something creative once a week. Then I figured that a new year was a good time for a new look, so I freshened up the look of the blog and I paid for a domain name. And now, I've decided it's time to start seeking out writing opportunities outside of the blog again: quit ignoring all of the submission calls that would be perfect for me and actually try again. I have to admit I'm pretty excited.
Who knows where my stories go. Maybe I'll have some luck and maybe I won't. Maybe I'll lose steam again. But for right now anyway, I'm excited to write.
And what's the worst thing that could happen? I never publish anything again, but one day my kids have a blog full of their mom's (hopefully inspiring) words? Well that's not so bad either.