This post was originally shared in July 2012, right before we embarked upon a 3 week road trip to the States. When looking through the old blog today I thought it was fitting because I realized the fears I describe below still haven't really left. Just a couple of weeks ago Asher had a nagging cough and I had to continually convince myself he was fine (he was). Asher and Nolan have proven time and time again that their lungs are as strong as any four year old's (and this has been confirmed time and time again by doctors) but all those months of seeing them breathe by machine evidently can't be erased from my memory.
Yesterday Nolan had a trip to the doctor to check on a nasty cough. Long story short, an x-ray revealed pneumonia so he has antibiotics and a puffer. If all goes well, he will be better before we go on our trip.
As concerned as I was about this I sent Nolan to the doctor with Jordan, not me, with a laundry list of questions:
You'll tell him he was a 26 weeker, right?
And that no one else in the house has it?
And especially that his twin brother whose face he breathes in all day every day doesn't have it?
And that he just had the stomach flu and we found him flat, face down in his vomit?
It IS possible that he aspirated, right?
And that we're about to head on holidays to the States?
With an eye roll and a "Yes, Tracey", Jordan took off. Why didn't I just go?
Because whenever the kids get sick I get so emotional. Every time I need to say "He was a 26 weeker, he was on a ventilator for 6 weeks, he had chronic lung disease, blah blah blah" everything comes flooding back. When he had hand foot and mouth disease I cried to the doctor for God's sake!
But here's the thing. On a daily basis we are no longer reminded about the prematurity (well except for that pesky CP). We have been INCREDIBLY blessed by the fact Asher and Nolan have never come down with a [lung] virus that has landed them in hospital, nor have they had any sort of sickness that out of the ordinary for any kid, much less a micro-preemie.
But when they do get sick, my wheels start turning even more quickly than normal. I remember that as strong as they are, as good as their immune systems have become, and as "pristine" as their lungs are (a doctor's word, not mine), their health, even at 2.5 years old, can still not be taken for granted for a few more years. This time, Nolan was barely sick. In fact had our upcoming trip not been just days away, there is no way I would have taken him to the doctor at this point, or even been concerned. Thankfully we did and it was all caught quickly. Let's call in mother's intuition coupled with a doctor who took our concerns seriously.
It is a fine line with preemies between over reacting to sickness, and not reacting quickly enough. So far we've always made the right decision. Once a micro-preemie mom, always a micro-preemie mom. The boys have healed, and will continue to heal. Not so sure about me.