Nolan: "Mom, a boy can marry a boy, right?"
Me: "Of course!"
Nolan: "See Rio! I told you!"
Rio: "Nolan! I KNOW a boy can marry a boy! I said you can't marry Grady!" (their 13 year old cousin) "Mom! Tell him he's not allowed to marry Grady!".
Me: "Rio, if Nolan grows up to be a man and still wants to marry Grady, we'll address that problem then".
I am not telling you this conversation because we have a potential incestuous situation on our hands in 20 years. I'm telling you this because I'm proud of our children for never questioning who can love whom.
From day one, our kids have never learned marriage is a husband and a wife. We've never specified a man marries a woman, or a woman marries a woman, or a man marries a man. We've just talked with our kids about "the person you marry" (or love without marrying, for that matter). Not husband, not wife, just "the person you love".
We've never explained why so and so has two moms or why so and so's partner is a man because we haven't had to. Unless you make it matter to your kids, it doesn't matter. Our kids don't care who's married to whom or who loves whom. Two people love each other and we've never had to explain why. They just do.
Why can't everyone see the world - and love - like our kids do? And why isn't everyone as lucky as us to live in a country whose marriage laws don't care about your gender? So you go ahead Nolan, and marry a boy if that's who you love. Just not your cousin, ok?