You guys, I have a JOB!! An honest to goodness, outside of the home, JOB! And I start in two days!!
I have been so nervous about going back to work. Like paralyzingly nervous. How does one go back to the workforce after a more than five year hiatus? Who would hire me, and more importantly what would I do? I knew I didn't want to go back as a Project Manager, but I had pretty much no idea what else I would do instead.
And then there were the logistics. How do you update a resume that has not only been dormant, but has nine years of job description you no longer want to use? And then how do you distribute said resume? Do people still use monster.com?!! LinkedIn? HOW?!
And when I get hired (somewhere, God let someone hire me), how will I fit in? Everyone will be younger and cooler, or older and more experienced. And then there's the bomb I drop about my life. When do I do that? It's always awkward, people don't know what to say. Meeting new people is HARD! Will people like me? Will my brain still work after all this time off?!
And not to forget the important part - who will look after my kids? It's not like finding care for three kids is cheap - and one of those kids needs a full time aide with him, which of course, has a waitlist for funding. And the boys would be too exhausted by before and after school care anyway, so was a magic childcare fairy going to fly in and save the day?
HOW ON EARTH WAS THIS GOING TO COME TOGETHER? On the one hand, I was sick about it. Like absolutely so stressed I could barely think about it. But on the other hand, I had this little voice in my head telling me "It'll work out". I had to listen to that voice.
You see, when you've spent the past several years of your life experiencing things not working out as you thought they should, you stop to wonder what exactly your purpose is and where you're supposed to be in life. And you can either wallow and feel sorry for yourself or a lightbulb can go on and you can go "Oh this. This is where I'm supposed to be. Didn't that all work out as it should have". So based on that, some part of me knew that when I was ready to work, something would come to me. Of the many connections I've made, both business and personal, one would pay off. I didn't expect a job to be just handed to me, but I did hope that something or someone would show me the light so to speak, and I would know what to do.
I never, in a million years, would have imagined it would happen as seamlessly, perfectly, and meant to be as it did.
So here's what happened. A few weeks ago Jordan and I met with a professional in our lives and it turned to the conversation of me starting to look for work. The kids were settled in school, the reno was done, the holidays were over -- it was time. She asked me what I wanted to do, and I told her honestly: "I want to work in an office and spend my time helping organize people. I don't want to be stressed. I want to be happy. And I don't want to have to get childcare". I chuckled to myself because I was really giving her my perfect job description, not expecting to have all of those come together.
She looked at me, nodding, and basically said "I need someone like you". What?! I was just telling her because she asked, and she just asked because I started talking about it. Neither of us knew it would be a fit! We talked about it casually and I said I'd update my resume in the coming weeks (talk about procrastination) and send it off to her. I didn't want to get too excited, but it sure sounded promising.
Well less than two weeks later, she called, having not received my resume yet (Whoops! Told you I was procrastinating). She asked me to come in and meet with her, and that was today. I quickly updated my resume, talked over all possible scenarios with Jordan and off I went. Nervous, but at the same time confident that something good would come of this. I didn't tell many people because I didn't want to jinx myself!
We met, we talked, and I was in love. This job* is every single thing on my wish list, and then some more. A lot more:
- An office job that relies heavily on my organizational, communication, time management, and interpersonal skills
- Not stressful
- FUN, small staff to work with
- Work days that run between school drop off and pick up, with a lot of understanding about kids' needs that may overlap with that timeframe
- Ten minutes from home, in the opposite direction of rush hour traffic
- Near amenities so I could run errands before/after
- She knows about everything we've been through with the boys, the thyroid, you name it - no need to drop a tearful bomb on anyone
- She's awesome, supportive, kind, and seems to be pretty much everything you could ask for in a boss.
I am elated. I texted a girlfriend this morning and she asked if I was excited, felt like barfing, or both. Excited only. No barfing! I have no reservations about this whatsoever. It was like this job was perfectly made for me, and at the same time, for what my new boss needs. And you know what she said to me about it? That she couldn't help thinking it was meant to be! That makes two of us!
See?! I knew it would all work out (pardon the pun!). Months of worrying and it all came together. With essentially no effort on my part. My goodness do I feel lucky.
My kids are happy, healthy, and doing wonderfully in school. My house is amazing, and has everything we could possibly need. My husband is a rock and works hard to support his family in every way possible. And now, finally, it's my turn.
I really cannot tell you just how good I feel. I HAVE A JOB! And when you get a new job after five years of wearing jeans every day, you know what you get to do? SHOP for a new work wardrobe! That made my day even more fun!
So now that brings me to my final question - how does one go about being a working mom again?! Someone's got a whole lot of learning ahead of her - but I can't wait! The past five years of this have been amazing, but now it's mama's time!
*I am being purposely vague about the actual job. I think it's best to leave work details off the blog. But friends and family - feel free to call or email and ask :)