Friday, March 2, 2018


Well now that it's March, I can't avoid the inevitability of this any longer. For those who don’t know all of the details, this guy here is having surgery on March 20th. BIG surgery. He’ll be getting both femurs cut below the hip, rotated, plated and screwed into place. He’ll also have his calf, adductor, and hamstring muscles cut and lengthened in each leg. For six weeks he’ll be casted from the knee down with leg immobilizers from the groin down. He’ll spend that time lying, and eventually sitting, with his legs straight out in front of him.

Luckily this surgery will take place here in Victoria so we’ll be able to focus our energy on Asher’s recovery while not having to be away from the other kids. He’ll spend about a week in hospital and then continue his recovery at home. We’re hoping that by the 3-4 week mark he’ll be able to handle school for short periods of the day, but that will not be without its challenges. By all accounts this will be an incredibly long, painful process. We have been warned he will not be himself for at least 6, if not 12, months. While we are trying to go into this with very realistic, informed expectations, it is difficult to actually comprehend what it will be like. Spending half a year in the NICU suddenly seems very different from spending half a year (or more) with a child who is not only in pain – but understands why and likely feels the frustration and unfairness that goes along with that.

We did not enter into a decision about this surgery lightly. We have some doctors we place the utmost trust in who have recommended that 8-9 years old is the ultimate time to have this surgery in terms of skeletal development. We’ve been talking about it and weighing the pros and cons for over a year. Asher’s hips are not so far gone that they are irreparable – in fact his hips looks pretty amazing for a child who has never walked. But the muscle tone in his legs is really starting to wreak some havoc, so we are crossing many fixes off of a list of items that unfortunately need to be attended to - sooner rather than later to ensure the best outcome.

We are very lucky we have family who is around (or traveling) to help out with Nolan and Rio in the time Asher is hospitalized. I am also very lucky to have a boss who has allowed me to take as much time as I need to be with Asher for the duration of his recovery. I’m not actually sure how we’d manage if either of those things weren’t a possibility.

After the surgery we're hoping to set up lots of short visits with friends to help keep his spirits up once he is home, but still unable to go to school or participate in normal daily activities. In the mean time, if you want to send him an email or a card wishing him well it would be much appreciated. Just comment here and I'll get you contact info.

Despite this surgery feeling like a massive, unscaleable mountain, I know we will get through this. But any positivity you want to send the way of our family in the coming weeks and months would certainly be appreciated.